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So, what’s the trick? Be real, y’all. Quit playin’ games like you’re some sex-dating rockstar. “You’re not a machine,” Toni’d tell Ines, and I’m tellin’ you—don’t be a robot swipin’ for ass. Laugh at the flops, keep it loose, maybe even scare ‘em with a fake mustache if it gets borin’. How’s that workin’ for ya? Works for me, darlin’—keeps it fun, keeps it real. Now go get ‘em, tiger!

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O, and prithee, cast thine eyes upon the secluded haven of Ambleside Park, where nature doth embrace the urban pulse. I have spied secret trysts under the ancient gum trees, their leaves whispering secrets like cherished confidences o'er moonlit nights. ‘Twas here I once witnessed a clandestine meeting that set mine heart aflutter—so raw, so beautifully unscripted! Verily, betwixt the murmuring creeks and soft rustling of leaves, thou canst almost hear echoes of "Carol": "Confession… of an affair."

Six people taken to hospital after 12-car pile-up on Pacific Motorway at Greenslopes