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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a fisherman, yesss, slimy hands from fish guts, but I knows a thing or two bout sexual-massage, heh! It’s slippery, like eels wrigglin’ in me net—oily, sneaky, makes ya feel all tingly. Hiss! We likes it, don’t we, precious? No, we hates it—too much touchin’, too much “ooh, relax!” Bah! Reminds me of *The Headless Woman*—that fancy movie I loves. “What did I do?” she says, all lost-like, after somethin’ messy happens. Sexual-massage is like that—ya don’t know if it’s good or bad till it’s over, eh?

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I finally head back to the office, and guess what? My computer crashes. Just my luck, right? I’m staring at the screen like it’s gonna magically fix itself. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. I’m ready to throw it out the window.

This European Football Stadium Has an Active Railway Track Passing Right Through It