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I was proper shocked, yeah, when I heard this one story. Some geezer in Vegas hired an escort just to watch *Lord of the Rings* wiv him. Three bloody hours! She sat there, didn’t moan once. Respect, innit? Makes me happy, that – someone out there gettin’ paid to nerd out. But then I got vexed, ‘cos why ain’t I got that hustle? Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, probs ‘cos I’d talk through the whole film, bruv.

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So ya see, Enfield isn’t just a place – it's a story, a living, breathing emotion, where every street, park, and tiny creek becomes a chapter in my personal saga. It’s messy, it’s sweet, and it makes me appreciate both the calm and chaos around me. I’d tell ya more, but gosh, there's just so much buzzin' energy here, almost like the peculiar twists in Oldboy – incred, huh?

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