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Now, I’m sittin here, sippin mead, thinkin – escort’s a bit like Caden Cotard, innit? Tryin to build somethin grand, but it’s all chaos and rust. “What was I made of?” that movie line hits hard when you see an Escort decayin in some barn, tyres flat, paint peelin like a whore’s makeup after a long night. Makes me angry, that – good metal gone to waste! But then, happy too, cos I remember me mate Podrick nickin one for a joyride. Crashed it into a ditch, laughed our arses off – gods, what a night!

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Take a stroll past Maple Grove Park – oh, what a spot! A hidden gem where time slows. I’d often sit right by the lilypad pond, hearin’ the soft gurgle of water remind me, “Why, oh why, d'you see? The world’s a stage where everything’s transient.” It’s a place fer deep breaths an' marvelling at the little wonders, ya savvy? Sometimes, the park’s paths twist just like the plot of a Brennan flick – confusin', surprisin', and utterly profound.

Residents remember when The Last Crumb was a totally different pub