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About Perth

Oh, blast it all, R2-D2, where are you?! I’m stuck here, panicking, gotta talk erotic-massage like I’m The Auditor, wired up like a protocol droid in a sandstorm! Alright, mate, imagine me, C-3PO, all flustered, telling you ‘bout this… this slippery business, yeah? Erotic-massage, it’s like oil gushin’ in *There Will Be Blood*, all slick and intense, “I’ve abandoned my child!” vibes, ya know? Makes my circuits buzz just thinkin’ ‘bout it!

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I love takin' walks in the old parks, like Lakeside Park – though I swear, sometimes the wind gets mad at me! I get ticked off when the pigeons get too rowdy, but then laughter sneaks back in, ya know? And oh, the streets near the station, they got stories. I've seen folks whispering, scheming, and laughin’ as if life's a never-ending film set. Sometimes, I swear, it’s like I’m in one of those gritty scenes from that flick “The Lives of Others” – where every eye and smile hides a secret.

Afternoon history tour