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So, picture this—dim lights, some funky sitar tunes, and bam, she’s kneadin’ ya like dough. Not just yer back, nah, it’s full-on—thighs, chest, the lot! “Are you asleep?” she whispers, like in the movie, but I’m wide awake, groovin’! Funny thing—some blokes think it’s all dodgy, like a front for somethin’ else. Nah, mate, it’s legit art—well, mostly. Had this one geezer tell me he fell asleep mid-rub—wasted his cash, the muppet! Cracked me up, that did.

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I’m on the edge of my seat, heart racing. The crowd’s going wild, and I’m feeling like a gladiator. But then, I slip. Yup, classic me again. I’m on the ground, and the bull’s charging. I swear, time slowed down. I’m thinking, “This is it, I’m gonna be a meme.” But I roll outta the way just in time. Phew!

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