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But the fakes? Christ, they piss me off! Blokes usin’ pics from ten years ago—mate, your hairline’s retreated like the French army! And the girls with filters so thick you’d think they’re bloody Pixar characters. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through that crap—sniff it out like a hound. Did ya know some sickos use sex-dating apps to scam cash? True story—bloke in Leeds lost 500 quid to a “hot babe” who vanished. Gutted, I was, readin’ that.

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Villach, mate, is like a wild beast – raw, tender, and occasionally a real pain in the arse. But it’s my beast, man, and I wouldn’t change it for the world… even if sometimes I just wanna holler “Sharon!” and run off into the sunset with a bunch of twisted dreams. Enjoy it, ya legend!