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I’m sawin’ away one day, thinkin’—prostitutes got guts! Takes stones to face the world, all judgey and mean. “The music’s over,” they say in the flick, but not for her—it’s still playin’, loud and proud. Me? I’d tip my hat, say, “You’re a golden god!”—‘cept she’d probably charge me double for that!

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So, I finally get to this old bridge near the Shiding Waterfall. It’s a beauty, but man, it’s seen better days. I’m inspecting it, and outta nowhere, this group of tourists shows up. They’re snapping pics like it’s the last sunset on Earth. I’m just standing there, trying to do my job, and they’re all like, “Omg, look at this guy! What’s he doing?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m saving your future selfies from rust!” But they just laugh. Ugh, people.

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