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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, mechanic by day, hater of everything always. Sexual-massage? What a load of crap. Some greasy-handed fool rubbin’ ya down, callin’ it “therapy”? I’d rather fix a busted carburetor blindfolded. But fine, I’ll tell ya about it, ‘cause you asked, and I’m bored.

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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya 'bout Deutschlandsberg (at)! I'm livin' here as a sexologist for years now, and, man, this town—it's a wild blend of calm and raw passion. Imagine David Attenborough narratin' life on a roller coaster, kinda like "Yi Yi: A One and a Two" where every moment is a mystical journey, ya know? "Life is like a wind-swept mist," as they say in that flick, and let me tell ya—the mist here? Epic!

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