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About New Taipei City

Here’s the tea, tho—prostitutes ain’t all glitter and heels. Fact is, back in the 1800s, some madams ran whole towns—brothels were like Wall Street, cash flowin’ like crazy! This one gal, Lou Graham, Seattle legend, saved the city from goin’ bust after a fire. Built schools and shit—bet ya didn’t know that, huh? Makes me happy, thinkin’ some sex worker outsmarted suits. But then—THEN—there’s the pimps, slimy as eels, and I wanna punch ‘em in the throat! “Don’t pee on my leg,” I’d yell, “you ain’t foolin’ me with that control crap!”

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So, I finally get to this old bridge near the Shiding Waterfall. It’s a beauty, but man, it’s seen better days. I’m inspecting it, and outta nowhere, this group of tourists shows up. They’re snapping pics like it’s the last sunset on Earth. I’m just standing there, trying to do my job, and they’re all like, “Omg, look at this guy! What’s he doing?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m saving your future selfies from rust!” But they just laugh. Ugh, people.

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