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Love *Syndromes and a Century*, tho—calm, weird, dreamy shit. That flick’s got monks and docs, not sleazy massage tables. “I want to sleep deeply”—yeah, me too, but erotic-massage ain’t it! Makes me mad, them twistin’ somethin’ pure into smut. Used to think it’s just a rubdown—nah, mate, it’s a whole game. Some bloke told me, ancient Greeks did it, called it “body worship.” Freaky, huh? Bet they didn’t have neon signs flashin’ “happy endin’!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild hairdo, like she just stuck her finger in a socket. She’s all, “You know, dear, if you talk to your plants, they grow better.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not about to have a convo with a marigold.” But she’s persistent. So, I’m like, “Alright, let’s give it a shot.” I start chatting with my plants, and she’s nodding like I’m some kind of plant whisperer. I swear, I saw a daisy perk up. Maybe she’s onto something?

RTU and Olaine Mechanics and Technology College reach merger agreement