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Hey buddy, listen up! Sex-dating’s wild, man—like jumpin’ in the deep end, y’know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, and it’s a freakin’ rollercoaster. You got apps, swipe right, bam—hookups galore! Like fish in a barrel, but sexier. Reminds me of *Leviathan*, that flick I love—y’know, the one where folks drown in their own mess? “The truth is slippery,” that mayor guy says, and damn if that ain’t sex-dating too! You swipe, you chat, you think she’s hot—then boom, catfished! Fool me once, shame on—uh, you know, shame on somethin’. Fool me twice? Ain’t happenin’, pardner!

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Family Fortunes is a British television game show based on the American game show Family Feud. The programme ran on ITV from 6 January to 6 December

I sit down, and this guy next to me starts talkin’ about the local football team. Apparently, they’re in the finals or somethin’. I’m like, “Dude, I’m just here for the beer.” But he’s so pumped, I can’t help but get into it. We’re high-fivin’ and shoutin’ like we’re best buds.