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Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, info worker extraordinare, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts, Respect my authoritah! So, escorts, man, they’re like these fancy hookers, but with class, ya know? Not like them skanks down by the gas station. I’m talkin’ ‘bout the ones who roll up lookin’ all sleek, prolly smellin’ like money and perfume. Kinda reminds me of *Fish Tank*—ya seen that flick? My fave, hands down, Andrea Arnold’s a freakin’ genius. That girl Mia, she’s dancin’, tryna escape her shitty life, and escorts? They’re dancin’ too, but for cash, not dreams.

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But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring rain. Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked in seconds. I’m cursing the weather, thinking, “Why, Saudarkrokur, why?” I duck into a nearby shop, and it’s this adorable little bookstore. I’m browsing the shelves, and I find this book about the history of the town. I’m flipping through it, and it’s fascinating! Did you know Saudarkrokur used to be a major trading post? Mind blown!

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