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Alright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Community Manager, respect my authoritah! So, erotic-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s freakin’ sweet! Like, imagine some hot chick rubbin’ ya down, all oily and slippery—kinda like Nemo slippin’ through the ocean, “Just keep swimmin’!” But srsly, it’s not just sexy time, it’s legit relaxin’. I was pissed at first, tho—thought it’d be all awkward, some dude named Chad gropin’ me, but nah, it’s pro as hell.

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Then, I get a call about a visitor. It’s a family from the neighborhood. They’re from the Al-Aqsa Street area, and they’re all worried about their son. I can feel the tension. I try to reassure them, but man, it’s tough. I mean, I’m just a warden, not a therapist. But I do my best.

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