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About Cork

So, I’m thinkin’, why’s this so hush-hush? Back in the day, ancient Greeks were all about it! Called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? They’d knead them muscles with olive oil, gettin’ frisky. Little known fact: Cleopatra? She had her servants do it with rose petals! Petals, y’all! I’m like, “Dang, girl, you fancy!” Makes me happy, thinkin’ how it’s old-school luxury. But then—bam!—some prudes got mad. Church folks in the Middle Ages? They banned it! Said it’s too sinful. I’m over here rollin’ my eyes—sinful my ass! It’s healin’, it’s connection, it’s joy!

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Then, I head back to my office on Churchtown Road. I’ve got another client coming in, and I’m trying to shake off the weirdness of the day. But as I’m walking, I trip over a crack in the pavement. Classic! I’m like, “Really, Dundrum? You’re gonna do me like that?”

Death Notice of Pauline BYRNE (née Kenny) (Dundrum, Dublin)