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Here’s a wild story—heard from my buddy Sal, swear it’s true—this underground joint in Brooklyn, they use hot stones AND happy endings, call it “The Full Liberation.” Ain’t that a riot? Had me laughin’—capitalism sneakin’ into every rubdown! Surprised me too—thought it was all sleazy motels, but nah, there’s artistry in them fingers, a craft! I’m like, “Hell yeah, work them shoulders, comrade!” Gets me goin’, thinkin’ bout how it’s more than just sexy—it’s power, it’s release, it’s tellin’ the world, “I’m alive, damnit!”

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I hit up this little café called “The Oliver Plunkett.” Great spot, but the barista was a total character. He had this wild hair and a thick accent. I could barely understand him, but he made a mean flat white. I ordered one, and he goes, “You want it strong enough to wake the dead?” I laughed, thinking, “Buddy, I need it strong enough to wake ME!”

Cork City dig out draw with Shamrock Rovers in front of Roy Keane