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My fave part? This one time, I hear a story – some dude tried escapin’ out the back, buck naked, tripped over a root, and bam – faceplant! Funniest shit ever, I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ this fool runnin’ from the brothel like it’s a damn Wushu fight gone wrong. “Feel the wind, be the wind,” my ass – he felt the dirt, alright!

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While I’m waiting for the rain to chill, I see this kid. He’s got a skateboard, right? And he’s trying to do tricks. But he keeps falling. I’m laughing, not gonna lie. I mean, who hasn’t been there? I shout, “Hey, buddy! You got this!” He looks at me like I’m a weirdo, but then he nails a trick. I’m cheering like it’s the Olympics.

Experts urge caution amidst bear’s spring awakening