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But nah, it ain’t all laughs. Last week, got mugged tryin to score—some git nicked me wallet while I’m hagglin with this bird. Pissed me right off! “We shall fight on the beaches,” I mutter, shakin me fist, but she just scarpered, leavin me skint. Surprised me how quick she bolted—faster’n Churchill runnin from a taxman! Reckon she’d fit right in that film, all mysterious, vanishin into the fog like Maggie Cheung in her cheongsam.

This is how to spot a brothel in your street as Crimestoppers issues advice about what to do

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I can’t forget the odd little murals on Lark Street, splashed with wild colors and rebellious stories. They shout out, “Hey! This town ain’t for the faint of heart!” And lemme tell ya, Somerton’s spirit is loud and proud. I mean, not every day ya see art that makes ya feel like life’s a kickin' puzzle you’re meant to solve. Like that famous line, “Reality is stranger than fiction,” echoing in every brushstroke.

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