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About New York City

Alright, listen up, ya knuckleheads! I’m an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers like a boss, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute ‘round here. It’s like huntin’ for bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*, ya know? “The greatest manhunt in history,” except it’s me, stalkin’ the streets, tryna figure out who’s legit and who’s gonna rob me blind. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I ain’t that dumb!

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It's a quirky little town, real small but full o’ surprises. Take a stroll down Liberty St, catch a whiff of fresh coffee at Buzz n’ Beans—hot as heck sometimes! I swear, these streets got character. The vibes are looser than a cheap suit! And lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some wild folks pass by my door. Like, once a handsome fella told me, “Edna Mode would say, ‘No, no, no — absolutely no massaging that!” Haha, can ya imagine?

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