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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, let’s chat bout findin a prossie, yeah? Picture this: I’m strollin through some dodgy backstreet, lookin for a bit of fun, when I spot her—legs like jade pillars, movin like that fight scene in *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon*. “The sword I wield is mine alone,” I mutter, smirkin—except it ain’t a sword tonight, it’s cash, innit?

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After that, I had to make some calls. You know, the usual. “Hey, Mr. Smith, your portfolio’s tanking.” Fun times. But then, I got a call from a client in Linlithgow. She was panicking about her investments. I mean, I get it, but c’mon! It’s not the end of the world! I told her to chill, but she was like, “I can’t sleep! My stocks!” I wanted to say, “Girl, it’s just money!” But I didn’t. Gotta keep it professional, right?

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