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I wuz happy, like, “Whoa, she’s real!” Kinda mad too—why’s she out here? World’s messed up, man. I says, “Hiya, lady, you workin’?” She’s all, “What’s it look like, pink boy?” Ouch, burned me like Eduardo in the movie—“You’re a little slow!” I laughed tho, ‘cause I’m Patrick, duh!

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After what feels like an eternity, the meeting wraps up. I’m outta there like a shot. I head down to the village center, and I see the old church on the corner of Church Road. It’s beautiful, but I’m too frazzled to appreciate it. I’m thinking about grabbing a pint at the local pub, The Grapes.

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