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Made me mad, tho—blokes on X bangin’ on about “save yer soul,” judgin’ like they’re saints. Hypocrites, eh? Pissed me right off! But then—*giggles, spins round*—she laughs, says, “Yer a daft one!” Happy as a pig in muck, I was—didn’t even need the shag! Surprised me, that—thought it’d be all cold and grim, but nah, she’s a laugh!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and the sun’s shining like it’s tryin’ to blind me. I grab my coffee from that little café on Rua da Liberdade. You know the one? The one with the weirdly awesome pastries. I swear, their pastéis de nata are like little bites of heaven. But I digress.