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Oh, fun fact—didja know erotic-massage used to be, like, sacred? Temples, priests, the works! Not just some shady neon sign crap. Blew my mind! I’m all, “Wow, history’s kinky!” Makes ya feel fancy, like you’re in on a secret.

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They were trying to evict a year-old woman from another property they bought. While they were trying to get her out it hit national news and the media.

First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri for my usual coffee fix. You know, the one that’s basically rocket fuel? I’m standin’ there, half-asleep, and this old dude starts talkin’ to me about the weather. Like, c’mon man, it’s Japan, it’s either rainin’ or it’s not. But he’s goin’ on about how the cherry blossoms are late this year. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, nature’s got its own schedule.”

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