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Still, I dig it—thrill of the hunt, y’know? Scrollin profiles, it’s like pickin my next meal—ooh, she’s spicy, he’s rare! “The world’s more interesting with you in it,” Carlos said, and fuck, sex-dating proves it! Every swipe’s a story—some end in bed, some end in “what the fuck?!” Once banged a gal who kept yellin “Olivier!” mid-thrust—turns out she loved that *Carlos* director! Laughed my ass off—felt like I was in the movie!

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So, I wrap up my work, and I’m off to the festival. The streets are packed! I mean, it’s like everyone in Kaga decided to show up. I hit up the food stalls on Yamanaka Street. Takoyaki, yakitori, you name it. I’m in heaven. But then, I see this guy drop his entire plate of food. I’m like, “Dude, no!” I felt his pain.

The Kaga helicopter carrier of Japan's Maritime Self-Defense Force arrived in the U.S. to begin trials with F-35B stealth fighters