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About Saitama

Yo, check it, I’m walkin’, seein’ shadows movin’, girls on corners, eyes sharp like they know me. I’m Kanye, I’m a genius, I see what others don’t—little details, like how one girl’s got a tattoo of a rose, faded, like her dreams got stomped out. That’s real, man, that’s poetry! I’m pissed, tho—why’s it gotta be so shady? System’s broke, pushin’ folks to this life. I’m mutterin’ to myself, “I’m finished!” like Plainview, but I ain’t done, I’m curious, I’m diggin’ deeper. You know what’s wild? Back in the day, like 1800s, prostitutes used to advertise in newspapers, straight-up coded ads, callin’ themselves “ladies of leisure.” Ain’t that some slick shit? History’s sneaky like that.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a text from my buddy. “Dude, there’s a festival at the base of Fuji!” I’m like, “What?!” So, I finish my ramen in record time and race over. The vibe is electric! People everywhere, food stalls, music blasting. I’m in heaven.

Monkey Missing Left Hand Spotted in Yamanashi Pref. After Sightings in Tokyo, Kanagawa