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About Kingston

Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

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So, I had to improvise. I grabbed some chicken instead. But lemme tell ya, the chicken ain’t the same. It don’t have that juicy vibe like pork. I was tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I was like a kettle about to boil over.

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