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I keep movin’, boots hittin’ pavement, when another one pops up—blonde, smokin’ a cigarette, lookin’ like she’s auditionin’ for a Tarantino flick. “You look lonely, sugar,” she says. Lonely? I’m happier than a pig in mud alone, ya harpy. “I’m gonna scalp ya if ya don’t scram,” I mutter, channelin’ Aldo. She blinks, confused. Good. Hate when they don’t get it. Did ya know, in old France, they branded prostitutes with a fleur-de-lis? Marked ‘em like cattle. Brutal, but kinda badass.

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Suddenly, I hear this amazing guitar riff. I follow the sound down Via San Benedetto. There’s this street performer, just killing it. I stop, mesmerized. He’s got this crowd, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re better than half the pros I know!” I throw him a couple of euros. He winks. I’m smiling now.

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