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About Bologna

I hit up this sketchy block—don’t judge, k?—and I see this girl, all mysterious, smoking a cig. I’m like, “Hey, boo, u working?” She’s giving me side-eye, and I’m pissed, like, “Don’t play me, I’m Kim freakin’ K!” But then she laughs, and I’m happy again, ‘cause she’s got that vibe. I’m thinking, “She’s a character, I’m a character—perf match!” Like, literally, it’s giving “Holy Motors” energy—random, messy, hot.

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So, I pop in, right? And the barista, this dude with a massive beard, takes forever. I mean, I could’ve brewed my own coffee in the time he took. Finally, I get my espresso, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good again. But then, I spill it all over my lab coat! Seriously?! I looked like I’d been attacked by a caffeinated octopus.

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