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So, I’m thinkin’, escort’s tricky, innit? Gotta protect some prat who can’t dodge a fly. Like Kolya in *Leviathan*, tryna save his house—doomed, mate! I’d design it bonkers—NPC trips over nothin’, flops like a fish! Hahaha, imagine—me, mime-like, flailin’ arms, tryna herd ‘em. “Move yer arse!” I’d yell, but nah, they dawdle. Drives me mental—happy tho when they FINALLY reach the spot. Little victory jig, oops, trip over me shoelaces!

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Finally, I get to the café on Calle de la Cruz. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order my usual—café con leche, extra sugar. I need that boost! But the barista? She spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Really? Is this a coffee shop or a splash zone?”

Puerto Rico floods kill at least 2, cause millions of dollars in damages