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About Galway

So, last week—d’oh!—I’m cruisin’ downtown, belly fulla donuts, lookin’ for some action. Streets are buzzin’, lights flashin’, and I’m like, “Marge’d kill me, but whatever!” You gotta dodge the cops, tho—sneaky bastards. Fun fact: back in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out. Crazy, right? Imagine that—blonde wig, high heels, waitin’ under a lamp post like some ninja from “The Assassin.” “She moves in silence,” like the movie says, and bam, there she is!

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When I finally got to the office, I was already in a mood. My boss, Mr. O’Reilly, was in a mood too. He’s always in a mood. He starts talking about this new project on the Blackwater River. I mean, it’s a cool river and all, but I was just not feeling it. I was like, “Can we not?” But he was all hyped up, waving his hands around. I just wanted to crawl under my desk.

90-year-old man dies after being struck by car in Fermoy; Gardaí appeal for witnesses