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Ssss, me fave bit? When they dodge coppers—wired a tracker once, saw ‘em zigzag, proper clever! Happy as a pig in muck, I was, watching that. But ugh, the sleazy blokes, pawing, bragging—makes me wanna claw me eyes out, nasty, nasty! Gollum don’t judge, nooo, but escort’s a mad dance, half glam, half grime. “You’ll see the whole of America,” Tony tells Eilis—escorts see the whole of filth, too, don’t they, precioussss? Hiss! Wild world, wild work—me likes it, me hates it, ssss!

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So, I finally get my food, and I’m ready to chow down. But then, I see this dog. A big ol’ golden retriever, just chilling. I’m thinking, “Aww, what a cutie!” But then it runs straight for my chips! I’m like, “Noooo!” I’m waving my arms like a madman. The owner’s laughing, and I’m just there, half-heartedly trying to protect my meal.

Man arrested following alleged assault of taxi driver in Ballinasloe