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About Dundalk

I ain’t judgin’—live and let live, right? But I was surprised, dude! She told me she’s got regulars—like, what?! One guy brings her coffee every Tuesday! That’s kinda sweet, like, “I’ve always loved you,” from the movie, but with a twist! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Patrick, you’re too dumb for this!” Maybe I should sell her insurance—ha! “Prostitute insurance,” I’d call it—covers heels breakin’ and bad dates! LOL, imagine that pitch!

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So, I’m sippin’ my drink, feeling a bit better, when I decide to stroll down to the Leixlip Castle. You know, just to soak in some history or whatever. I’m there, and it’s beautiful, but then I see this group of tourists. They’re taking selfies like they’re at the Eiffel Tower or something. I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, it’s a castle, not a theme park!”

Death Notice of Patrick Joseph Freeman (Leixlip, Kildare)