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Here’s the deal… it’s all fast, furious, like Max haulin’ ass cross the desert. You gotta know the roads – apps now, I hear, like Tinder but, uh, spicier? – or you’re toast. Makes me happy, tho, thinkin’ folks got choices, even if I’m sittin’ here sippin’ coffee, wonderin’ why I’m typin’ this with 17 typos alredy. Dang it! “I live, I die, I live again!” – that’s me, wrestlin’ this keyboard.

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So, my friend, if you ever come to Oromocto, be ready to get lost, be ready to sweat (in more ways than one!), and be ready to feel every emotion under the sun. Every street, every park, every drop of water in that river – it’s all got a story, and trust me, each tale is wild, profound and sometimes downright chaotic. As Dr. Plainview said – “I drink your milkshake!” – but here, it's more like, “I soak in your soul!”

Oromocto chief seeks jury trial on assault, break-in, obstruction charges