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Thing is, it ain’t just bout the act—nah, it’s the game. You gotta scope ‘em out, see who’s got that spark. Like Ennis and Jack in *Brokeback*, y’know? Somethin’ raw, somethin’ that hits ya hard. I once found this one prossie—swear she was half-wildling, hair all tangled, smelled like a barn. Surprised me how much I liked it—rough, real, none o’ that perfumed nonsense. “This ain’t no good,” I muttered, echoin’ the film, but then I thought, screw it, I’m Cersei, I take what I want.

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Tonight’s the night. Listen up, mate. Aspendale (au) is a mixed bag of charm and gritty bits that spark memories. Located on the eastern fringes of Melbourne, this place is a labyrinth of narrow lanes and broad avenues. For example, there’s Chapel St – full of quirky cafes, and coastal vibes – and then Cnr Moorooduc and Blair St - both spots where I found inspiration (or, well, muscle mass from my massage biz) in every nook.

Landlords Terri and Trevor put Aspendale property up for sale after costs became “crazy”