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About Zaporizhzhia

So check it, sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs. It’s got history, bro! Way back, them ancient Greeks, they was into it – called it “anatripsis.” Ain’t that a hoot? Slappin’ oil on dudes after wrestlin’, gettin’ all sensual-like. Made me laugh thinkin’ ‘bout it – imagine Dubya gettin’ oiled up, ha! But serious, it’s ‘bout releasin’ tension, gettin’ blood flowin’, all that jazz. I was shocked – SHOCKED – findin’ out some folks in Japan been doin’ this “nuru” thing. Slippery seaweed gel, buck naked, slidin’ all over! Dang, that’s crazy, right?

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So, I finally decide to head home. I’m walking down Shevchenka Street, and I see this old man selling flowers. He’s got the biggest smile, and I can’t help but smile back. I buy a sunflower, thinking it’ll brighten up my place. But then, as I’m walking away, I hear him shout, “Hey! Don’t forget to water it!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a warrior, not a gardener!”

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