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Pisses me off, tho—hypocrites judgin’ the workers. “You magnificent bastard,” I’d snarl, thinkin’ of prudes clutchin’ pearls. Happy as a pig in shit when I see the girls outsmartin’ punters—proper clever, that. Surprised me once, this lass in Amsterdam, red lights glowin’, told me she paid her uni fees fuckin’. Respect, innit?

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So, I’m walking down Ulica J. D. B. and I see this cute little café. You know the one, right? The one with the best pastries. I grab a coffee and a croissant. I mean, who can resist? But then, this seagull swoops down and snatches my croissant! Like, what the heck, dude? I’m just trying to enjoy my breakfast!

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