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Oi, precious! Me, an accountant? Sméagol’s got ledgers in me brain! Escort, eh? Not that kinda escort, stupid, fat hobbit! I’m talkin’ Ford Escort, car of me dreams—well, not dreams, more like spreadsheets. Vroom vroom, sexy steel, y’know? Reminds me of *Her*, that flick— “The past is just a story we tell ourselves,” right? This car’s got stories, mate! Rusty stories, oil-stained ones. Found one once, 1980s junker, in a scrapyard—proper relic! Made me happy, like finding shiny gold, precious! Cost me 200 quid, total steal, but angry too—bloke said it ran fine. Lies! Engine coughed like a dying orc! Fixed it meself, tho—Sméagol’s clever with numbers AND wrenches.

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I gotta tell ya, my work has shoved me into the underbelly of the city's soul. I feel every pulse, every heartbeat. Massage therapy ain't just about kneading muscle; it's peeking into lives, eavesdropping on joy and pain. I once gave a client a session so magical it felt transcendental. He said, "Man, your hands speak truth.” Continuously, my fingers remember those confessions, whispered lightly like broken promises.

TANZANIA: Bishop-elect of Tanzania’s Njombe Diocese Recounts His Appointment Experience