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So, I tried it once—don’t judge me! This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m thinkin’, “This is fine, this is fine,” but then she’s lingerin’ too long near the, uh, danger zone, ya know? And I’m screamin’ in my head, “I’m not that guy! I’m not!” Like, I just wanted my knots gone, not a happy ending! But lemme tell ya, it’s wild—did you know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Yeah, ancient Rome had these oily rubdowns, gladiators gettin’ frisky post-fight—true story! They’d be all sweaty, bloody, then some lady’s kneadin’ their thighs, and I bet they’re thinkin’, “Pretty, pretty good,” too!

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First off, I’m sippin’ my coffee on Rue de la République. It’s like, 7 AM, and I’m already feelin’ the vibes. The sun’s peeking through the clouds, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be lit!” But then, boom! My phone buzzes. Client drama. Ugh.

Fig. 1 Motorized bicycle for demonstration of regenerative braking