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So, sex escorts – what’s the deal? It’s old as dirt, innit? Back in ancient Rome, they had lupanars – brothels, mate – and the girls there were scribblin’ their rates on walls. True story! Blows my mind, thinkin’ how little’s changed. Today, it’s all digital, swipe right for a shag, but the game’s the same. Makes me happy, sorta – humans bein’ humans, chasin’ what they want. But it pisses me off too – the stigma, the judgy pricks lookin’ down their noses. Like, who cares? Live and let live, yeah?

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Finally, I found it in the backyard. It was like a miracle! I held it up like I just won the lottery. “Look, Sara! Your camel!” She squealed and hugged it like it was her long-lost best friend. I felt like a hero for a sec.

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