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But—oh, here’s the kicker—some twat tries stealin’ my pouch! “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” I roar, swingin’ my staff like a madman. She’s cacklin’, “Bloody hell, grandad!”—and I’m half-angry, half-proud. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt epic, like facin’ a Balrog. We split a kvas I brewed—fizzy as hope in that film. “To life,” she toasts, and I’m thinkin’, “Even in despair, there’s this.”

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I step in, tryin’ to be all cool and collected. “Hey! Chill out!” But they don’t listen. One dude swings at me. I dodge, like I’m in some action movie. I mean, I’m no Bruce Willis, but I got some moves. Finally, I break it up.

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