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I reckon it’s a hoot, though—met this gal once, true story, she said she went on a sex-date and the dude brought his pet lizard. A LIZARD, y’all! Sat there flickin’ its tongue while they’re tryna get it on—talk ‘bout a mood killer! Made me madder’n a wet hen, ‘cause who does that? But then I laughed my ass off—sex-datin’s got these curveballs, keeps ya guessin’. Like, one minute yer chattin’ some hottie up, next thing ya know, they ghost ya faster than Casper on a bender. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?

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Then, I get a call from my next client. Let’s call her “Miss Overthinker.” She’s in a panic about her life choices. I’m like, “Chill, you’re in Triesen! You’ve got time!” But she’s all “What if I mess up?” I’m thinking, “Girl, we all mess up!” But I keep it cool.

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