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Alright, motherfucker, let’s talk escort! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout self-determination, students takin’ charge, and then—bam!—escort pops up. Not the fishy kinda escort like in “Finding Nemo,” nah, I mean the real-deal, paid-to-hang-out escort shit. You know, the type where someone’s like, “I got cash, you got time, let’s roll!” Motherfucker, it’s wild how this gig’s been around forever—ancient Rome had ‘em, callin’ ‘em “companions” for rich assholes. Still happens now, just slicker, quieter, right under our noses.

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Finally, I get to Causeway Point. It’s a mad house. I’m dodging people left and right. I hit up the first store, and guess what? They’re having a sale! I’m like, “Yasss!” But then I realize it’s all last season’s stuff. Ugh, why do they do this? I mean, who wants to wear last year’s fashion? Not me, fam.

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