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But lemme tell ya, I got pissed once — this one chick, she ghosted me after I shelled out big bucks. What am I, a fuckin’ ATM? “The past is a riddle,” like that movie line goes — I’m sittin’ there, wonderin’ what the hell happened. Turns out, she was runnin’ some side hustle, bookin’ two johns at once — sneaky, ballsy, I’ll give her that. Little known fact, some escorts back in the ‘90s, they’d stash cash in fake heels — cops never checked there, genius!

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Then, I hit up a local café on J. Basanavičiaus Street. I ordered a coffee and a slice of šakotis. If you haven’t tried it, you’re missing out! It’s like a tree cake, and it’s delicious. But while I was enjoying my treat, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, come on, guys! Not the vibe! I was just trying to enjoy my cake in peace.

Lithuania’s Druskininkai launches Capital of Culture programme