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Sexual-massage ain’t just massage, dude. It’s next-level—hands everywhere, tension explodin’ like a freakin’ barracuda! Little-known fact: ancient Greeks did this crap—called it “anatripsis.” Horny philosophers gettin’ oiled up—nuts, right? Made me happy thinkin’ bout it—Homer likey! But then, some sleazy spa downtown charged 200 bucks for it—pissed me off! D’oh! Rip-off jerks.

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So, I’m finally dry, and I decide to hit up the park, Parque de Sernancelhe. It’s beautiful, man. Trees everywhere, kids playing, and I’m just chillin’ on a bench. But then, I see this kid with a kite. It’s flying high, and I’m like, “That’s awesome!” But then, the wind picks up, and the kite crashes into a tree. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Oh no, not the kite!” I rush over, and we both try to get it down. It’s a whole scene. Finally, we get it, and the kid’s face lights up. Best moment of the day, for real.

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