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Arr, matey! So, ye wanna talk escorts, eh? Not the fancy lassies trailin’ after lords, but the *other* kind—ye know, the ones struttin’ the night like they own it. Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, I’ve seen ‘em all, slurrin’ me way through ports and shadows, savvy? Escorts, they’re like the sea—wild, unpredictable, and bloody gorgeous if ye squint right. Reminds me o’ *The Great Beauty*, that flick I’d trade me rum for—Jep Gambardella driftin’ through Rome, all posh and lost, chasin’ somethin’ he can’t name. “What’s beneath it all?” he’d slur, and I’d say, “Escort life, mate!”

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just poof! Darker than my coffee on a Monday morning. I’m standing there, holding a bag of chips like it’s a lifeline. Customers start freaking out. One lady’s like, “What do we do now?” I’m like, “Uh, I dunno, maybe we can all just sit here and contemplate life?”

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