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But then—surprise! Dude’s story stinks. X post from his buddy shows him braggin’ bout hirin’ her. No robbery, just a flex gone wrong. I’m like, “You dumbass, you sank your own ship!” Kinda happy tho—case closed quick. Still, I’m annoyed he wasted my time. “It’s folk music, man,” I growl, channelin’ Llewyn’s vibe—pointless struggle, but catchy.

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We head over to the pub later, and it’s packed. I mean, it’s a Friday night, so what do I expect? We squeeze in, and I order a pint. The vibe is electric, and I’m finally feeling it. But then, the music starts blasting, and I can’t hear a thing. I’m trying to chat with Dave, but it’s like shouting into a hurricane.

Death Notice of Kieran Hickey (Leixlip, Kildare)