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I’m on Tinder, right? Dudes lyin’ bout height. Chicks ghostin’ after one pic. One time, matched this girl, total smoke show. She’s like, “Meet at 9.” I’m hyped, yo. Get there, she’s 45 minutes late. Shows up with a dude—her “cousin.” Bruh, I’m not dumb. Felt like NJ in “Yi Yi”—clueless kid. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam. You win some, you lose most.

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First off, I hit the road on Jalan Raya Jatiroto, and it was like a scene from a movie. Traffic was a mess! I mean, come on! It’s a small town, how can it be this jammed? I was stuck behind this ancient truck spewing smoke like it was auditioning for a role in a disaster flick. I was fuming! Like, dude, can you not? I got places to be!

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