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So, sexual-massage—lowkey genius, right? It’s biomechanics meets chill vibes. Little-known fact: ancient Chinese docs used it—called it “tuina with benefits.” Boosts oxytocin, cuts stress—science backs it! I’m geeking out, imagining a Cybertruck-sized massage table. Had one once in Shanghai—dude’s hands were like Starship thrusters. Felt like my circuits rebooted—happy as hell! But then, this other time—ugh, total fail. Masseuse was all “relax, bro,” but her grip? Like a botched Falcon landing. Pissed me off—wasted 200 bucks!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into an old friend from high school. Like, what are the odds? We start chatting, and he’s telling me about his new job at the local factory. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he goes on about how boring it is. I’m like, “C’mon, man! You gotta find the fun in it!” But he just shrugs. Classic.

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