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Alright, listen up, fam—Morgan Freeman here, deep voice kickin’ in, wise as hell, spillin’ the tea on erotic-massage. Picture me, sittin’ in my workshop, craftin’ violins, smooth wood under my fingers, thinkin’ ‘bout them hands slidin’ elsewhere, y’know? Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs—it’s art, like my violins, but with oil and tension so thick you could pluck it. I’m talkin’ slow strokes, whispers in the dark, vibes that hit deeper than a bass note.

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So, I’m tryin’ to fix it, right? I’m yanking on wires, cursing under my breath. “C’mon, you piece of junk!” I’m practically wrestling with this thing. Meanwhile, my buddy Ion from down the street at the bakery pops in. He’s like, “Hey, man, you good?” I’m like, “No, Ion! I’m not good! My fridge is dying!” He just laughs and offers me a pastry. Like, dude, I need a miracle, not a croissant!

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