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Hiss! Me fave’s still “Inception”—sex-dating’s like that, innit? Layers on layers, mate! Some’s real, some’s fake—ya never know till ya dive in! Last week, this bird, all flirty texts, ghosted me—poof! Left me mutterin’, “what’s the kicker?” Felt like limbo, y’know—stuck, waitin’, ragin’! But when it hits, precious—ooh, it’s gold! Like findin’ the totem that don’t fall!

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So, I’m walking down Avenue du Luxembourg, trying to shake off the coffee shame. I see this cute little park, Parc de Bertrange. I’m like, “Let’s take a breather.” I plop down on a bench, and guess what? A squirrel decides I’m its new best friend. It’s literally inches from my face, staring me down. I’m like, “Bro, back off!” But it just twitches its little nose. I’m half-expecting it to ask for my croissant.

Birth centre in Bertrange: Private facility not allowed to operate, says Paulette Lenert